Leadership Helps

A Leader's Courage - An Honest Look
By James Smith

Fear can and will keep many good leaders from becoming great leaders. Many mountain climbers have stood at the base camp of Mt. Everest, yet only a small percentage of them have had the courage it takes to actually climb to the top of that mountain.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of what people will say if we fail. Fear of the criticism along the way. Fear of being the only one saying “It can be done.” Fear of our vision being rejected by others.

Fear can kill our God given directive. It can suffocate our dream.

A position or office does not cause a person to become a leader. Though a person be chosen to Pastor a church, they are not truly a leader until they face their fears and actually lead that congregation into the places that God would want it to go. Being chosen to lead is easy. Actually leading is hard.

What defines a true visionary? Is it someone who has a lot of great ideas? Someone who sees the need for change, but never causes that change to take place? About 1 year ago I asked my wife to be very critical of me. I asked her to honestly tell me if I was someone who saw the things that needed to change and caused them to change or if I was someone who pointed out all the areas of needed change and did nothing. Her response though honest, was not what I wanted to hear.

I have determined, that if I am unable or unwilling to cause change in a given area, I will keep my mouth shut. Although I may see a need to change, I will say nothing, unless it is to spark a vision in another person who is capable of creating the needed change.

When I see another person or ministry who is successful, I go to them and find out how/why they are having success. I try to learn from them. Yet, I usually find that the reason they are having success is something I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me about in the past. I get beat up pretty bad as I realize that God told me to do this same thing several years ago, only I lacked the courage to launch into it. You must admit with me that some of the more successful people around you are doing things that you yourself have considered, only they did it and you didn’t.

Our temptation is all too often to accept the status quo. We measure ourselves by ourselves. We determine that since we have increased by some percentage point, we are being successful. However we really need to begin measuring ourselves by God’s measuring tape. Does He view a church of 75 as a success when it sits in the middle of a 10,000 soul populace? Now if that church is less than 3 years old, it is truly a success. But if that church is 30 years old, that might be another story.

The status quo is safe. It’s comfortable. Accepting the status quo however will kill a church. Oh, it will still be there, but the vision and drive that it takes to win a community, will be forever lost unless the Pastor decides to face the enemies of change and even his own fears.

Presently I am watching several successful churches. I am following the steps they are taking to create and maintain the revival they are having in their city. What is interesting is that no two of them are doing the same thing. What’s causing their success is that they are doing things that are radical to the sideliners who question their motives, intents, and directives. In the face of great criticism from within and without, every one of these churches and their Pastor’s have decided it is better to fight and lose than sit on the sidelines and do nothing.

For a man to accept mediocrity or the status quo is to die. He may be living on the outside, but on the inside he is dead. His vision casting days are over. His ability to walk into the darkness and know that people are willing to follow him is gone. He is no longer a leader. He may have a position. He may be the boss, but he is no longer a leader of people. When a man finds that his ability to lead is over, it is time for him to prayerfully ask God for the courage to face his fears.

Moses, there is a Red sea waiting for you to split. Elijah, there is a Jordan river in front of you. Peter, go ahead and step out of the boat. David gather up your stones, your giant is going to fall. John, though they’ve boiled you in oil and sent you to die on Patmos, God now has a book he wants you to write.

Pastor, that congregation will follow you if you boldly step out in faith and do all that God is telling you to do. They have inwardly been waiting for you to lead them for years. That church bully is really saying to you, “Lead Me!"

Bi-Vocational Pastors
By Author Unknown

If your ministry is only one of your jobs, here are 12 tips to make the road a little smother.

In light of the fact that 50 percent of all North American churches have 75 people or fewer, many pastors do not receive full salary from the church they serve. This forces them to consider options such as finding other employment on the side or having a spouse work to help make ends meet.

Guard your attitudes. Sometimes it is hard for those “called into the ministry” to accept the fact that they may have to work “secular” jobs at times. These are understandable feelings, but will lead to bitterness of heart and cripple our ministries unless we overcome them.

Look primarily to God. It is easy to become resentful toward people if we look to them as our sources. God is our ultimate employer and provider, not the church.

Beware of get- rich-quick schemes. A pastor desperate for additional sources of income may be vulnerable to the allure of multilevel marketing and other “easy money” systems.

Assess the hidden costs of having a spouse that works. After the cost of travel, food on the road, child care, house cleaning etc, you may find that it is cheaper for them to stay home. A job or career is often times more of an outlet or escape. Check all the motives and the real cost involved.

Make the most of the situation while you’re at it. Working a secular job can actually have many overlooked benefits other than just additional income: contact with unchurched people and experience with realities of work environments.

Define your ministry. Bi-vocational pastors should beware of trying to have a “full- service” ministry. You need definite limits and boundaries. You cannot do everything, so you must have a clear focus for what you will handle.

Educate the church. They need to clearly understand your time limitations so they don’t form unrealistic expectations.

Guard your family times ruthlessly. Your time to be with your family is likely to be limited, and this requires careful scheduling and refusing to allow unnecessary interruptions.

Don’t neglect your health. Those who burn the candle at both ends are likely to run out of wick!

Develop a realistic plan. Unless you are willing to remain a bi-vocational pastor the rest of your life, you need a realistic and concrete plan for how you will make the transition to full-time ministry. Dreams without plans seldom come to pass.

Cut your greener-grass preconceptions. Many bi-vocational pastors are filled with great expectations about the additional time and fruitfulness they will have if they go full- time into the ministry.

Deal with your fears.

What People Expect of a Leader
By Author Unknown

There are seven things sheep want from a shepherd:

They expect shepherds to be concerned for their safety. People want the assurance that their organization is wise enough to survive in turbulent times and will provide for their futures. A protector who is concerned with the welfare of his flock won’t hesitate to communicate the possibilities and the perils looming on the horizon.

They expect shepherds to know them by name. When a responsible shepherd enters the fold, his sheep respond to him because he calls them by name. We cannot underestimate the value of establishing a connection with every person on our team – even if that number is large. The bond is strengthened each time people hear us speak their names.

They expect shepherds to be gentle and kind. When people you serve are less than cooperative, it’s not an excuse for retaliation. As Dwight D. Eisenhower said about his war experiences, “You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership.” If you feel the urge to lash out at those around you, get tough on yourself. That’s where discipline yields the greatest harvest.

They expect shepherds to rescue them. What is our response when one of our employees becomes distracted? Do we let him stay off course and struggle to find his way back, or do we stop what we’re doing and give him our attention? Jesus said a good shepherd would leave a flock of 99 to go after the lost sheep until he finds it. That’s true of leadership.

They expect shepherds to be unselfish. The president of a chain of stores was under pressure to cut costs. Much as he hated it, he was forced to eliminate the Christmas bonus for his employees. Later, the president was awarded a check of $20,000 for balancing the budget. He immediately divided it with his staff. People expect to participate in decisions that affect the quality, quantity, and climate of their work. It must be a partnership that includes rewards. When one succeeds, all succeed.

They expect shepherds to be sincere. A fellow who was flying to a business meeting found a bug in his salad. He fired off a letter to the airlines. By the time he got back to his office, a letter was waiting for him. He was impressed by what it said, until he saw a note stuck to the back, which said: “Send this character the regular Bug Letter.” Leaders can’t afford to be artificial. They must be genuine.

They expect shepherds to care deeply about them. If we truly don’t respect and love people, we should resign from any position of responsibility that involves personal contact. Sheep want shepherds who are sensitive and responsive to their personal and professional needs. As this sign posted on a bulletin board says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Reasons For Financial Difficulties
By AUBREY JAYROE

According to the latest statistics, over one-half of all families in America are experiencing financial difficulties. This includes single parent homes. Most people have financial problems, but don’t know why!

In order to be aware of the financial difficulties one has and know what causes them, a person must educate himself to the reasons for the difficulties. The following are a list of reasons that most people find themselves in financial difficulty.

FAILURE TO FOLLOW SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPLES. The Bible is full of guidelines regarding financial principles. In fact, one-half of all parables and one out of six verses in the New Testament deal with stewardship. Get your Bible out and start studying. Ask your pastor for more information. See a Christian Financial Counselor for assistance. You will find great guidelines and principles in the Word of God.

FAILURE TO IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES. Just exactly what do you want? More things or better financial stability? Prioritize your desires and needs and stick to it.

NO DISCIPLINE! That one horrible word causes us more problems than anything else in the world. We need to exercise discipline in every phase of our life, especially when it comes to discipline! Discipline yourself to limit unnecessary purchases and wasting money. Discipline yourself to set down once per month to analyze your finances. Discipline will be the greatest thing you can establish in your life. Work diligently with disciplining yourself.

FAILURE TO ESTABLISH GOALS. A person who has no goal is a person without direction. A person without direction is going…nowhere! To solve your financial difficulties, you have to establish a clear goal. Where do you want to be one year from now; five years from now, etc.? Write your goal down and work toward it.

NO CONTROLS. This compares to discipline, however, it means to have written controls over your spending. Write down what your limits are. Review them frequently.

FAILURE TO ESTABLISH A BUDGET. A budget is not a nervous breakdown on paper. It is a clear cut guideline of where your money comes from and how it is to be spent. It only takes about 1 hour per month to maintain a budget so that you can control the process of knowing where your money is and how it is spent. Don’t negate the importance of a written budget…it will be the greatest factor in helping you get your finances under control.

UNABLE TO CONTROL IMPLUSIVE SPENDING. If you don’t follow the direction of your budget and discipline yourself, you will be unable to stop spending when you see that item that you just must have. Don’t spend any unnecessary money until you discuss it with someone. You must control your spending if you ever hope to get ahead financially.

FAILURE TO IDENTIFY NEEDS AND WANTS. We all have desires. When we go shopping sometimes our desires override our needs. We need to identify what is really necessary to purchase and what can be put off until the finances are in better order. Again, it doesn’t hurt to write down the necessary items that you must purchase so that you will constantly be aware of how you can spend your money.

FAILURE TO ADJUST YOUR LIFESTYLE. We live in a society that promotes “keeping up with the Jones’”. Too often that process gets us in trouble because we over extend ourselves in order to gain and accumulate in order to impress others. We must learn to adjust our lifestyle so we can live within the means of our income.

FAILURE TO RESIST CREDIT BUYING. It is so easy to get credit cards today. In fact, many people get pre-approved applications in the mail each month. The reason credit card companies promote their credit card is because it is much easier to spend if you have credit cards, and they know it. The facts are a person will spend over 30% more if they have a credit card. Establish limits to your spending and stay within that boundary so you don’t get caught in the horrible trap.

FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WRONG COUNSEL. You can get any type advice you want from anyone you talk to. But the facts are when you need financial help you should talk to people who are in that business. There are many financial advisors, accountants, bankers, etc., who are willing to assist anyone who seeks help. Talk to the right people and you will get the right advice.

FAILURE TO BE ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD. We are guilty of thinking that God is not concerned about our finances. But remember, God has made you a manager of your possessions. You are responsible for managing them in the correct and proper manner and if you don’t then God may not can trust your with more. Pray about your financial decisions. Read the Bible…there are hundreds of scriptures that give sound principles for financial help. You are accountable to God for everything you have, and that includes your finances.

FAILURE TO SAVE. Those gifts you received at the wedding shower won’t last a lifetime! You are always going to have “a rainy day”. There will be emergencies when you least expect them. Because of that, you must plan and prepare by saving. Not only will you have to replace items, but there are many reasons to save. You will have medical emergencies; kids will need braces; you may want to take a vacation; the kids will need college funds; retirement will not be an option one day. These are only a few reasons you must save. Establish a consistent plan of saving and stick with it.

FAILURE TO EXECUTE A WILL. Everyone needs a will, but very few have executed one. It is so important to have a will that clearly establish wishes and desire of the parties executing one. If you don’t have a will, then you allow the State to make your plans for you. It can also cost your heirs additional legal fees and estate taxes. At your earliest convenience, contact your attorney to draw us a will. You will have a peace of mind and will help your heirs considerably.

FAILURE TO BALANCE INVESTMENTS. There is an old saying that goes like this: “Don’t put all your eggs into one basket.” There is a need to diversify your investment portfolio. Discuss various type investments with those who know about them and invest accordingly.

INVESTING IN SPECULATIVE INTERESTS. There are many “quick, get rich schemes available to the investor. In addition there are high risk ventures that may pay high interest rates, but are risky. Most people can’t afford to lose their investment, so don’t fall for these type investments.

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE. This can cause great difficulty, not only in the area of financial means, but also in the marriage. Discuss your investments and financial decisions with your spouse. Let him/her know what you have done and who can be contacted if necessary.

FAILURE TO MAINTAIN PROPER RECORDS. One of the saddest stories I have every heard was with the lady who came to my office after the death and burial of her husband. He had left her well off financially, but had failed to inform her where important documents were. He had kept it all to himself, and several years later, she has still not been able to find all the papers she needed for financial decisions.

FAILURE TO ‘STICK WITH IT’. Too often we become lax and fail to keep up with what it necessary to stay out of financial difficulty. Don’t quit! Don’t get weary in well doing! Stay with your plan until you see the end result.

FAILURE TO MAINTAIN THE DESIRE. You must be able to see the end result of your plan and without that desire your dream will fade away. You can be financially secure and free from debt and worries. Don’t lose sight of the anticipation of being free of financial worries. Let your desires remain high and work together to see the results.
It is not God’s desire that people continually struggle and battle with financial worries. You and I can see relief if we will only do what is necessary and trust the Lord.

Copyright 2004 Rev. AUBREY JAYROE


Car Washes and Leadership
By Dr. Fred Childs

I marveled as I observed each presentation. The goals were impressive, and every presenter received accolades at the conclusion of each delivery. It was an annual goal setting and calendar planning session. It was expected that I would be impressed. When everyone was finished the pastor asked me if I had any questions for the various department leaders now that the presentations were finished. I did have a few.

“How many people on your team or in each department have any clue as to what you just presented? As the department leader did any of you create these presentations on your own and without the input of your team? Were any of these presentations simply modifications to last years? Did anyone achieve what was proposed to do last year? How do you hold yourselves accountable to attaining these goals? Do you or they know how you are going to accomplish these goals? How do your goals support the goals of the other departments? Are the goals of every department mutually supporting one common church vision? Are the goals of any one department pulling in a separate direction and counteracting the goals of another? Did the church develop its vision first and then have every department develop goals that are essential in order to reach the vision? Are your goals self-serving or do they benefit everyone else? Are any departments competing for people, calendar time, resources or talents in order to achieve your goals? How do you intend to measure these goals in order to track them? What data did you use in order to set your goals? Does anybody know exactly where this church is heading and what its vision is?”

These were just a few of the questions I asked. Surprisingly nobody had answers for any of these questions.

I then told them a true story. Recently my wife and were stopped at a traffic light. A Day Care Center was located on the corner and we observed over twenty children and a few teachers having a car wash. It was hilarious! Each child had on a little yellow T-shirt with the Day Care Center logo emblazoned proudly across the front. They were running, chasing each other, and expending a lot of energy. It looked like a swarm of little bees humming around. One little boy was chasing some girls with a soapy sponge. Another was spraying his friends with the water hose. There was a cacophony of screaming and laughter in the air. We both laughed at the sight of the people actually doing all of the work. The teachers were washing the cars and trying in vain to get everyone to cooperate with them.

Progress is not necessarily equated with numerous activities, continuous action, audacious goals and the abundant expending of energy. The truth is that sometimes progress is negated by an overwhelming abundance of no-value-adding efforts spent going nowhere. What benefit is it to our church if we are all running feverishly ? but in opposite directions? Could we possibly be pulling apart instead of together?

The aforementioned church had repeated this same goal-setting process for years, but they had been at the same plateau of growth for even more years. My suggestion to the church was to scrap the illustrious goals that were apparently self-serving and meaningless, and re-focus their attention on achieving something worthwhile together. By combining everyone’s skills, talents, resources and energy toward the essential goals that support a common strategic vision they could mutually accomplish something worthwhile.

The first step to accomplishing this is to develop a shared vision that everyone embraces collectively. A vision is a concisely worded portrait of a destination or a promise-land somewhere ahead. The second step is to determine the essential goals that absolutely must happen in order to reach the vision. The third step is for every department, ministry team and individual to identify and measure value-adding and consistent actions that they will faithfully execute in order to support each essential goal that supports the shared vision. Eliminate other things from the calendar that expend time, energy and resources but are counter-productive to the vision.

Sound complicated? No, to the contrary, it is very simple. Keep it simple and it will work.

What is complicated and challenging is trying to have revival and growth while everybody is on a separate page of understanding and working against each other. It’s like having a car wash at a Day Care Center and nobody seems to be participating. Just as the teachers were doing all of the work that day, a few dedicated church leaders and the pastor will wind up doing all of the work that everyone else should be doing. It’s not that others were not working, but they were so busy chasing each other that they had no energy left to wash cars.

Leadership includes the fine art of steering the energy and actions of the church toward the fulfillment of a God-inspired vision.


BIO

Dr. Fred Childs is a leading church consultant, organizational development expert, and leadership authority.


Lead More Manage Less
By James Smith

Causing growth in a church and leading God’s people is a challenge. Looking through the scripture one quickly notices that no leader of God’s people found his role easy.

It often seems that our job as ministers is more reactive than proactive. It’s important to understand that while there will always be a needed degree of reactive management, there also needs to be a healthy measure of proactive leadership.

One doesn’t need to pastor long before he/she finds themselves becoming bogged down with the daily routine of managing a congregation. Your own list of duties preformed regularly would be very comparable to many other Pastors and church leaders. As I communicate more and more with church leaders around the globe, I am surprised to find that even though regions and languages may differ, there are often, very similar “People Problems” that Pastors have to deal with.

Managers organize. They report on what is. Their role is to assign and control people. Leaders on the other hand cast vision. They offer what could be. Their role is to align and motivate people. Notice the difference between these two leadership styles. One is managing what already exists and the other is moving the church forward into new growth and greater increase.

Nearly all pastors and church leaders perform both management and leadership roles. An imbalanced church is often one whose Pastor and leadership team has succumbed to one role or the other. It is the Pastor who has lost his zeal for growth so he simply manages what is already happening. Or it is the Pastor who constantly promotes growth and new programs, but does not provide constant management for the growth that happens.

Have I lost you? Are you already saying, “Now wait a minute. I can’t do it all!” You are right. You can’t. As much as you are talented, gifted, anointed and blessed, you are not Solomon. Moses couldn’t do it all and neither can you. In fact, the church leader that attempts to do all the management themselves will be overridden with the load of caring for God’s people.

This is why our Lord brings us other people into the church. Many Pastors overlook the people resources in their congregation. Since they lack the ability to trust others to a task, many Pastors fail to allow the talents of their congregation to become invested.

Moses had his captains of fifties and thousands. You too have been given certain individuals who can come beside your ministry to assist you in maintaining the growth from the vision you cast.

Do you find yourself routinely doing the job of the church janitor? Did you fix or repair something around the church lately? Are you the office manager? Are you the one who adds ink to the printer? Are you the only one visiting and praying for the sick? Who does the computing and tallying of numbers to record progress?

If you are the person doing any of the above or any question like them, you may be spending too much time managing and not enough leading. While God has called you to your place of ministry to create a well managed work, He did not intend for you to get so bogged down with the management process that your vision casting would be muted.

Without new growth and vision, a church will stagnate. Good management alone may be able to slow the tide of a church’s decline, but it will inevitably become idle without vision casting.

While many people are capable of management roles in the church, few are anointed as the Pastor to promote vision and growth. In fact in many small to mid size churches, he is the only one capable of vision casting. This should cause us to consider our significance as a leader of the congregation and begin to train others to manage it.

Some time back a Pastor of a church with over a thousand people told me that when he is absent from his church for any length of time, his presence is hardly missed. He attributed this to the team of leaders under him who do much of the management of the congregation. Even though he is gone for a week or even a month, his congregation continues to grow in his absence. This man has created such a network of managers within the church structure that his only management role now is to oversee the overseers. Now his full time job is to be the leader (Vision Caster) of the congregation. Would your congregation be better served with you doing less management and more leading?
Lead on…
By James Smith

Casting a vision and leading people are not easy to do. Here are a few pointers when it comes to creating vision in the local church.

Don’t micromanage. Create a program or system for management then simply allow others to do their job. You may consider employing another person to do the managing. This would be someone who is close to you and knows how to follow your orders. Let them do the follow up, you cast the vision.

Admit mistakes. Being the leader does not mean you are going to right 100% of the time. There are going to be times you make mistakes. Admit them quickly and cast a new vision. Allowing yourself to make mistakes will show your congregation that you are human and will enable them to feel that you are approachable.

Lead without fear. Fear will cripple your potential. “We have not the spirit of fear.” Seek your churches direction from the Lord. While it is good to get other people’s opinion and counsel regarding the direction the church should be moving, God alone can give you Divine direction. Seek God’s face for His will. Once he gives you direction, move forward into it without fear of defeat or what others may think.

Gather allies. Surround yourself with others who think like you do. Especially if they compliment your vision. As you begin to share your passion and burden with them, they will want to get on board. After training and equipping them, get them on board with you ASAP.

Think what could be – not what has been. History does not always repeat itself and it should not. While history can teach us many things, it should not cause us to be fearful of moving forward. For instance, the average church that desires a Small Group ministry usually fails 3 times in starting that particular ministry before it is successfully launched.

Courage is attractive. Courage also establishes leadership. Without a leader who acts with courage, a congregation will lack the trust needed to follow him into God’s promises. David was willing to do battle with a giant whom other more seasoned men feared and as a result he won the hearts of the nation. No Pastor would ever need fear another taking his church if he is a Pastor who leads with courage.

Courage establishes leadership. A leader must have the courage to create needed change. The parable of the men with the talents tells us what becomes the person who would simply manage our Lords resources. Investing people takes courage. Investing in the lives of those who take pleasure in comfort takes courage to push them to places of the extreme. Should Moses have stopped at the obstacle that was the Red Sea, all would have been lost. However, he was willing to take people from a place of relative safety to a place of extreme promise. Do or die, all would be lost or all would be saved by his visionary genius and willingness to believe God for the impossible.

Believe God! Visionaries too often lose their hunger for growth and change when the congregations constant fear, doubt and resistance diminish the leaders own zeal. Are we so afraid of people that we would tell God “no”? Would we abstain from the zeal within our own hearts to sooth trepidation of the naysayer’s? Would our own passion be disquieted by those who would doubt God’s promises?


Stop Interrupting Me!
By Author Unknown

Without a doubt, interruptions in a day can kill your effectiveness. A "list of things to do" is hardly started before the first interruption sends you reeling toward another unproductive day.

It's important to know who can interrupt you when you are busy and who cannot. To reduce the number of interruptions you receive, draw up the following lists:

People who may interrupt you at any time, such as your spouse or other church ministers.

People who may interrupt you when you are not particularly busy, such as important members of the church.

People who may not interrupt you at all.
These lists can save your day. Keep them in mind and give copies to your support staff and relevant ministers of the church. Ask them to follow these lists as much as possible.

A few good ideas to minimize interruptions:

Ask your secretary or assistant to screen calls for you.

Stand up and walk towards the door to indicate the end of a meeting.

Do not sit down if you are followed into your office.

Keep your office door closed when you do not want to be interrupted.

Place your chair out of view if your door is open.

Place a note on your door explaining that you are unavailable. - "Preparing Sunday's Message"

The object here is not to be unavailable to people, but rather to create time and space for you to do what only you can do. Perpetual interruptions from well meaning people or those who need constant attention will rob you of your most valuable resource - time. Learn to say “not now” when you are trying to get things done.


The Ideal Mentor Always...
By James Smith

1. Tells you the truth – even when it hurts.

One man who has been one of my mentors for almost 18 years especially stands out because of his honesty with me. Early in my ministry and marriage, he pulled me aside and explained to me that I was not very respectful to my wife in public. He explained that the ladies of the church would not honor me as a minister for this reason. At the time I was offended that he would tell me this as I thought I was very good to my wife. However, years later, I see where he was coming from. I’m grateful that he was bold enough and honest enough to talk to me about a sensitive subject. Honoring my wife and publicly showing her affection has not only given me respect among the other ladies of the church, but has also been a blessing to our marriage.

2. Shows a good example for you to follow.

The old cliché “Do as I say, not as I do.” Does not work in mentoring. A lifelong mentor should be someone who is a model of who you want to become. Everyone is a little bit like the people who have parented them. Part of a mentor’s role is to let the protégé watch them closely in the work that they do. One of my mentors would often times invite me to sit in on important meetings that I had no experience in. I would never say a word unless asked my input. I understood that I was there to observe and to learn. I watched my mentor closely to see how he handled fragile situations that I had no experience in. I would often ask myself how I would handle these often sensitive meetings, but would then watch my mentor expertly handle delicate subjects with Godly wisdom.

3. Sees you as family.

Mentoring someone is a life long commitment. Your best mentors are not people who are only a part of your life for a short amount of time. A mentor sees you as a son or daughter in the Gospel. Paul who mentored Timothy referred to him as his son. Anything less than a family level commitment may prove to be a surface only relationship between mentor and protégé. Often times, subjects discussed in a mentoring relationship are sensitive and personal. A protégé needs to know that he is going to someone who is a father figure who only has the protégé’s best interest in mind.

4. Shows himself/herself to be open and transparent with you.

A good mentor is someone who is not afraid to talk to those they mentor about their failures as well as their successes. My father would often say to me, “Don’t make the same mistakes that I have made.” This is a good reason for mentors to be open with their protégés. You may save that person a tremendous amount of pain and numerous mistakes by revealing to them the mistakes you yourself have made along the way.

5. Teaches

Personally I find it hard to explain to people how I do the things that I do well. Some things come naturally to me, but I find it hard to explain or articulate to others how or why I do what I do. As a mentor, it’s important for me to slow down and explain the process to those I mentor. It’s often times harder to explain the process than do it, but the protégé needs to be able to learn from the mentor’s giftedness.

6. Sees and believes in your potential.

You cannot effectively mentor another unless you see something in them that they may not see in themselves. You have to be someone who is capable of causing them to become someone better than who they currently are. If you look at that person and only see their shortcomings, then you may not be the best person to mentor them. When you mentor someone, you are investing a portion of your life into them. You will not want to invest that level of commitment in someone you do not see tremendous potential in. When I look at a person, I try hard to not see them as they are, but to see them as they can become. Honestly, I am often very critical of people at first. This is a problem I have identified in my own personality. However, through prayer and looking through the eyes of Jesus at people, I can see tremendous potential that I never would have seen with the natural eye.

7. Is someone who can help you bring your vision into a reality.

Thru the years, I have had many dreams and visions of God’s will for my life and ministry. My mentors have helped me understand my various burdens and help me keep in check which visions were possible and which ones were not. One mentor recently chuckled and told me there is no possible way to do all that I currently want to do for the Lord. He helped me understand that I need to pace myself and that God will give me the helps along the way to accomplish all I have a vision for. However, for the mean time, do only what I can humanly do.

8. Is open to learn from you.

Someone once told a joke that God was referring to Solomon when He said, “Ya, I made him so smart, he started to teach Me.” It is entirely possible that a protégé may eventually have something to bring to the table. As a person matures and develops, they may even surpass the wisdom and knowledge of their mentor in a given area. This is to be expected and hoped for. This is the purpose of mentoring, so that the next generation of leaders will have learned from the experiences of those they glean from. A mentor offers his protégé a tremendous gift when he allows that person to teach them something. This shows the protégé that he has graduated in a certain area. It also shows him that he is honored among those he honors.

By Rev. James Smith